Dark Thoughts
It’s here! Halloween is over, our new Christmas tree is up, the clocks have been set back, and I can hibernate again! It’s such a physiological shift as it is a psychological one, that it makes me believe I was a hedgehog in a past life. Or a Pagan introvert on an icelandic island in the 9th century. Definitely one or the other. We experienced Polar Night, er, the end of daylight saving time since moving back to Corvallis. It was pitch-black around 5:30PM and there was never any moonlight. We live in a neighborhood with very little light pollution and there’s a protected forested nature preserve directly behind us for at least a mile. We don’t go in our backyard after dusk because although bears, bobcats, and Sasquatch sightings in town are not too common, the way of thinking here is you should assume wildlife is out and about. A few of you may remember this isn’t the first time channeling our inner Ingalls family — four years ago we lived on the edge of the Deschutes National Forest in Central Oregon in a wooded community with street names like, “Donkey Sled” and “Butt Riggin.” But, um, it looks darker in our literal neck of the woods here — and soon it’ll be even more so earlier. Last year we were up in Washington and had a west-facing view from our townhouse windows — so even in winter, we had a fairly bright sky going into the evenings. Anyway, I love the shorter days, however, I’ll need to tweak some daily routines soon.
So yeah, you may have caught that I’ve given myself a three-week head start on when we typically kick off the winter holidays, because, well, there’s no need to justify getting a jump on enjoying our favorite time of the year! And I want to give a shout-out to those of you who deck the halls while dealing with debilitating pain and/or chronic illness. It is not easy and I want to celebrate whatever sparks of joy you’re able to spread, and that, for sure, includes if you can only conserve your energy for one special day (or a couple of hours). Long ago I came up with an organizing, cleaning, and decorating system that relies on visualization before any physical work is done. I will literally play out in my head what needs to be done in small sections of the house, then go about it step-by-step as I rehearsed it in my mind’s eye. It’s so less overwhelming and I get so much more done in short spurts than if I were to go in without a clear plan. I’ve packed up for most of our recent moves this way. There’s been family members who’ve witnessed this technique in action and thought a wild hair flew up my, ah, well, they were surprised by how seamlessly I went about the task at hand seemingly out of nowhere! For those of you who can simply go in there and just get ‘er done, well, good on ya, but as someone living with chronic pain/invisible illness for the past seventeen-years (I had a brief remission from 2016-2021), this does help the quality of my everyday life. Now we have that fun fact about me outta the way (along with the twenty-five seconds of your life you won’t regain).
Tomorrow is Election Day in the States and Oregon’s National Guard is on standby. We need to be up early for a maintenance inspection before heading to my doctor’s appointment in the afternoon to address my heart palpitations that have occurred alongside the absence of my periods beginning in September. Then we’ll swing by a ballot box before hunkering down at home to see what comes next. To say my anxiety is slightly elevated is an understatement. Whatever the outcome, Palestinian-Americans and American Muslims will still have a president funding an extermination of their family, friends, and culture in Gaza. Choose your words and actions with kindness in their company.
Forward out of error
Leave behind the night.
Forward through the darkness,
Forward into light!
